a freebie and a confession

The Lord has been testing me lately…and I feel like I’ve failed.  Things haven’t been going as I’d like in many facets of my life and, in my normal, control freak fashion, I’ve gotten upset, frantic even… searching high and low for ways that I can fix these issues, correct them, make everything work out.  I keep going  to God feeling like a failure because, despite all of my efforts, I can’t seem to get everything back into place.

For me, it’s not right until it’s perfect {you may be able to relate}, and this continuous imperfection, these little daily reminders that something {or a lot of somethings} is wrong can be very hard to deal with.  And for this control-freak, not being able to find the answer or solution that will make everything go back to normal simply adds insult to injury.  My pride is hurt.

The Lord is faithful, though.  He reminds me that He hasn’t abandoned me and that He, in fact, knows what’s best for me better than I do…so even if I can’t find the solution, He’s already got it all worked out.  As much as I’d like Him to, He won’t be “waving a wand” and making everything perfect all of the sudden, but He is using these imperfections and trials to strengthen me.  And even when I fail, whether it’s at finding a solution or simply trusting in His plan for my life, He loves me all the same.

Since my sinful, human brain can forget His sweet reminders so easily, I thought I’d create a reminder for myself {and you, if you need it}, so I made this bookmark.

I love this verse.  It’s such a powerful reminder of how big the Lord is and great His works are; not only does He supply us with unending, boundless grace even when we try to do things our way, fail, and then blame Him, but He points out that He can even use our weaknesses for His glory and good…no matter how hard we work to mess things up.

It’s like a child, working feverishly on a partially constructed puzzle; slamming his little hand down onto that one, frustrating piece, trying desperately to force it to click into place, even though he knows it’s not right, that it will never fit….but knowing that he just can’t figure out any other way to make it work.  It’s not until his wise father comes behind him, calmly, gently stops his forceful banging, and quietly turns the puzzle piece just one small quarter turn, clicking it into place.

I am that child…working feverishly and getting nowhere.  Thankfully, the Lord is much wiser than I am and has the grace to love me despite my simple mindedness!

If you’d like the same reminder, you can download the bookmark here.  Just print, cut, hole punch, and add ribbon!  Hopefully it will be useful for you!

Happy Tuesday, friends!